Top 10 ‘Downton Abbey’ Scenes From Season 4

Warning: This contains spoilers. If you haven’t seen all of Season 4, don’t read on:

Season 4 of Downton Abbey was dominated by love trouble.

Oh, where to begin…

The brutal and shocking rape of Anna left her relationship with her husband Bates in turmoil. Rose indulged in a clandestine and doomed romance with a jazz singer. Edith got pregnant and aborted her abortion, giving birth to a baby in Switzerland — without the knowledge of most of her family. The Irishman Tom had a dalliance with a manipulative lady’s maid. The romantic tension between staff members Ivy, Daisy, Alfred, and Jimmy came to a boil.

And that’s just some of it. Even the Prince of Wales gets into trouble because of an illicit romance.

When I write this it sounds like it was a season of soap opera or melodrama. But what makes this show so brilliant is what happens between these moments of romantic melodrama.

There are so many meaningful reflections and actions about some of the most important issues in life: overcoming grief, finding purpose, pursuing dreams, coping with disappointments, and dealing with aging.

There were many scenes with heightened drama or important plot moments. But I thought the best scenes from the series were quieter ones where characters connected or had insights of some kind.

The best ten scenes had breakthroughs, epiphanies, or revelations that can definitely be called spiritual moments:

1. Carson and Hughes take an emotional plunge (Episode 9)

We’re getting on, Mr. Carson, you and I — we can afford to live a little.” – Mrs. Hughes

After being like a platonic old married couple for years, Carson( Jim Carter) and Mrs. Hughes (Phyllis Logan) join in a gesture of romance toward each other. And in front of the other workers!

There’s not much dialogue here — what makes it so powerful is the poetry of it.

After the servants work hard on Rose’s coming out event in London, Lady Grantham tells Carson to give the staff a break. So they go to a beach. Carson wades into the water. He says his pants may get wet. Mrs. Hughes gently teases him and then coaxes him in, saying he can take her hand.

“You can take my hand if you want to feel steady,” Mrs. Hughes says.

“I don’t know how, but you manage to make that sound a bit risque,” Carson replies.

“And if I did?” Mrs. Hughes chuckles.

The season-ending scene has them going into the ocean hand in hand. One leading, the other being guided into courage.

Spiritual takeaway: It’s never too late for romance and connection — or to take on something new in life. The final image of the two of them going into the ocean holding hands is a powerful one of two people in their winter years entering the vast ocean of life — which seems to have both possibility and danger.

2. Daisy lets Alfred go (Episode 8)

It’s time for you to go your way and me to go mine.” – Daisy

This is a moment of real maturing for Daisy. For the remainder of the season she will be a different person.

Daisy (Sophie McShera) has wanted the romantic attention of Alfred (Matt Milne) for some time. But he’s interested in the prettier but more aloof Ivy (Cara Theobold).

When Alfred returns for a visit from training to be a chef at a cooking school, Daisy doesn’t want to see him. She retreats to the home of her former father-in-law Mr. Mason (Paul Copley). Mason encourages her to face Alfred so they can leave with nothing “jagged” or “harsh” between them. After all, there aren’t many people in your life that you will love, he says.

Daisy brings a basket of food for Alfred. He’s touched and tells her that he couldn’t see how true and kind she’s been to him. He was just too blind because he was obsessed with Ivy.

“Love is blind,” Daisy tells him.

She also tells him that she did love him but that it’s gone and won’t come back. So it’s best they go their separate ways. But they’ll always be friends. After he leaves, she goes outside to get some air. Mrs. Patmore (Lesley Nico) follows.

“If you were my own daughter, I couldn’t be prouder than I am now,” Mrs. Patmore tells her. For those who have seen the show since its beginning, it it quite a thing for her to say. Even Daisy seems astonished. It’s a seismic shift in her maturity — and the respect she gains in others.

Spiritual takeaway: As with Mary turning to Carson as a mentor and surrogate parent (see third best scene below), Daisy does the same with Mr. Mason. And his advice is her biggest step in maturity in the entire series. She’s usually responded to conflict by avoiding or getting angry. But here, she faces conflict and makes peace with it. She’s grown up.

3. Carson makes peace with an old friend and an old flame (Episode 2)

If this is goodbye, then let us part as friends.” – Charlie Griggs

Carson emerges from behind the steam of a train at a train station to confront the pain of his past.

He’s avoided his old theater partner Mr. Grigg (Nicky Henson) who was trapped in a workhouse, but in an attempt to get out of her grief over her son’s death, Isobel Crawley (Penelope Wilton) takes him into her home. She finds him a job in Belfast.

There’s something Grigg wants to tell Carson before he leaves. But Carson refuses to meet with him. We don’t know why. But a clue comes with a photograph of a young woman that Carson finds in a box he hasn’t looked in for years.

Mrs. Hughes fails to convince him to see Grigg. But at the last minute before Grigg boards the train, Carson comes to the station for a talk with his estranged friend.

It’s a rushed scene. And that adds to its power. Because the train is about to leave, that makes them get to the point quickly. Grigg married the girl in the photograph — who Carson wanted to marry. But Grigg and the woman (we later find out her name was Alice Neal) separated and she died five years ago. On her deathbed she confessed she made the wrong choice, Grigg says. She chose the wrong man — she regretted not choosing Carson.

“We could have made a go of it,” Carson says about his lost love.

Grigg says they probably won’t see each other again. So he wants to leave as friends. Carson takes his hand and shakes it.

Spiritual takeaway: Is there anything as soul-cleansing as making amends with someone who represents the pain of the past?  It’s healthy to make peace with even the worst parts of our past.

4. Lady Mary has a good cry before changing her mourning clothes (Episode 1)

I know I’ve spent too long in the land of the dead.” – Lady Mary

Earlier in the episode Mary (Michelle Dockery) sharply dismissed Carson from her room. He tried to talk her into moving on with her life. But she preferred to remain exiled in mourning for her dead husband.

Tom has encouraged her to help him out with her former husband’s work with the tenant farmers. But she’s resists, retreating to her room, wearing black and immersed in grief.

But the tide is now turning.

Maybe Carson’s words planted a seed. As headstrong as Mary is, even in grieving, she needs someone to talk to. So she later makes a late night visit to see Carson. Mary’s father Lord Grantham (Hugh Bonneville) says she’s too fragile to work. But Carson tells her something different.

“You are strong enough for the task,” Carson tells her as Mary cries.

She thanks him for the boost of confidence she needs. He tells her she can always count on that.

Spiritual takeaway: Sometimes we have people in our lives who are surrogate parents or mentors to us. They can give us the confidence we need to get over a hurdle.

5. Anna and Mr. Bates reconnect (Episode 5)

You’re made higher to me and holier because of the suffering you’ve been put through.” – Mr. Bates

After the disturbing rape, Anna (Joanne Froggatt) is too ashamed and afraid to face Bates (Brendan Coyle) . Or to even tell her what happened. She’s afraid she’s been “soiled” and not good enough for him anymore. And she fears that her husband may kill the attacker if he finds out. She even moves out from the cottage that Bates and her share.

But Bates forces Mrs. Hughes to tell him. And in a pivotal scene, Bates tells his wife she has nothing to be ashamed of. And that he loves her even more.

We don’t know what Bates does in retaliation for the rape — it’s clear he suspects who the attacker was — but here he’s supportive and says it’s deepened his love for her. Their relationship is now back on track.

Spiritual takeaway: Adversity — even at its worst — can bring a couple closer together. Despite the ambiguity of what Bates does next — the show implies he’s in some ways responsible for the rapist’s death — this is a moment of really important connection.

6. The Dowager Countess and Mrs. Crawley drop the bickering and connect (Episode 4)

If we only had moral thoughts, what would the poor churchmen find to do?” — Violet Crawley

Over the course of the series, the relationship between the Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (Maggie Smith) and Isobel Crawley has been rocky.

The Dowager finds Isobel too much of a imposing do-gooder. Isobel thinks Violet is pompous and insensitive.

But after Matthew’s death, they (for a time) soften to each other. Violet invites Isobel to Downton so she won’t be alone grieving. And they have a brief but moving conversation in one scene while walking.

Isobel confesses that it makes no sense for her to be upset that Mary is enjoying having new suitors. But Violet tells her it’s nothing to judge herself about. And she has a powerful scene-closing line:

“I hope you find a way to make friends with the world again,” she says.

Spiritual takeaway: When you’re honest, you will receive compassion. Be transparent and you’ll get the best advice — even from some people who aren’t always the friendliest to you.

7. Lord Grantham opens his wallet (and his heart?) (Episode 5)

This is where I belong.” — Farmer Drewe

Lord Grantham respects some things more than money: partnership, loyalty, and tradition.

He’s in the mansion’s office with a tenant farmer, Drewe (Andrew Scarborough). The farmer’s father has died, leaving the farm deeply in debt. Tom and Mary want to sell it. But because his family has been tending the land for years, Grantham has agreed to hear out the farmer — who didn’t know his father was in debt and wants to work to pay it off.

Drewe pleads with him to let him stay on the farm. They’ve been good partners, he says. The phrase pierces the armor of the gruff Grantham. He likes to think of himself as being in partnership with people. So Grantham agrees to lend him the money himself to pay off the debt.

Spiritual takeaway: This is far from the bottom line mentality we see in the financial aristocracy today. Grantham realizes he can’t leave someone behind who has been loyal and competent for many years. There’s a lesson here for contemporary business leaders.

8. Baxter gets some courage from Mosley (Episode 9)

I’m not sure what will happen — but whatever it is, it’s better than being afraid.” – Baxter

Baxter (Raquel Baxter) is a new hire at Downton as a lady’s maid. But she has a connection to Thomas Barrow (Rob James-Collier). Barrow apparently has some dirt on her from her past that he’s threatening to reveal. To prevent that, he expects her to inform him about secrets she hears at the Abbey.

Baxter becomes friendlier with Mosley (Kevin Doyle). And he picks up on her dilemma — being torn between wanting to do the right thing and being afraid of Barrow’s threats.

“Sometimes it’s better to take a risk than to go down the wrong path,” he tells her.

And in a brilliantly choreographed scene during the season finale, she disengages from one way of being and embraces another. First, Barrow sits down and tells her he thinks she’s holding things back from her. And he may reveal her secret — which is still unknown to viewers.

“You must do what you think best Mr. Barrow, just as I must,” she calmly tells him.

After he exits, Mosley sits down beside her. She tells the astonished Mosley that there are things in her past that made her afraid, but she’s not afraid anymore. And it’s because of his influence.

“Your strength has made me strong,” she tells him.

Spiritual takeaway: Maybe the suffering and humbling of losing his job and being forced to take one beneath him, has made Mosley wiser. Or maybe the ability to help strengthen someone else is helping him. Whatever the case, he’s realizing he’s come down in the world in his career status but is growing internally.

9. Love lost is still important love (Episode 5)

Aren’t we the lucky ones?” — Isobel Crawley

Isobel Crawley comes to visit her grandson. Before the nanny brings the children in, Mary, Tom  (Allen Leech), and Mrs. Crawley reminisce. They joyfully speak about about the intensity of emotion they felt when they first fell in love with the their spouses — who are all now dead. They marvel at how deeply in love they once felt.

Instead of leading them into grief, it reassures them. They smile and laugh about the memories. At one time they felt something they still treasure.

It’s a short scene that carries a lot of weight. It seems to cleanse them to realize they had those feelings. And they consider themselves fortunate for once having those emotions.

Spiritual takeaway: Remembering past relationships can be a source of comfort and happiness — even after those people are gone.

10. Scrambled eggs after buckets and mud (Episode 7)

“A night of discovery!” – Lady Mary

Mary and the government employee Mr. Blake (Julian Ovenden) go for a walk after dinner to look over the new pigs that were bought for Downton’s farm. But it isn’t the stroll they expected. 

Blake sees the pigs are dangerously dehydrated. So they work to save them. Mary brings some buckets. She falls in the mud. They have a good laugh about it when the pigs are of out of danger. And there’s a childish mud fight between the two.

But the best scene is the breakfast scene afterward. Mary makes scrambled eggs in Downton’s kitchen (Yes, Lady Mary can actually cook something — although she confesses it’s the only thing she knows how to make). They sit and toast each other with a glass of wine. She’s impressed that he’s practical and not just theoretical. He too has seen a jovial and earthy side of her that he likes. A connection!

The look on kitchen maid Ivy’s face is priceless when she walks in to start the morning kitchen work. The couple call it a night (morning, actually) and leave the kitchen while Ivy does a double take.

Spiritual takeaway: Never be afraid to get those posh clothes muddy when there’s work to do! And this is a whole different way to bond with someone — other than the usual Downton-style romance cycle of food, wine, and parlor chat. And isn’t it always fun discovering someone is more fun than you thought they were?